Top Five Reasons I'm Glad Spring Is Finally Here

Although tomorrow is officially the first day of Spring, for all practical purposes (weather, basketball, television programming), it is already here. In no particular order, here are some of the reasons why this makes me very happy:

1. Warmer weather (duh). Here in the Upper Midwest, we've endured another year of polar vortex temperatures. On Monday, the outside temperature actually made it above 70 degrees F. I found a deserted corner of a nearby conservation park, sat down on a wooden deck and took off my shoes and socks. I happily read a book on my smartphone while letting my bare feet soak up some sunlight for the first time since October. For fifteen minutes, anyway (didn't want to risk sunburned toes).

2. Writing contests. For the second year in a row, I am entering some RWA chapters' writing contests. They are an excellent source of feedback for newer writers. I'll find out around Memorial Day weekend if I've made the finals rounds.

3. The Write Touch Conference. This year, the Wisconsin RWA chapter's conference is in late April, co-locating with Barbara Vey's Reader Appreciation Luncheon. I'm glad I purchased my luncheon ticket right away -- it sold out fast. Conference registration (without the luncheon) is still available.

4. New releases. Some of my auto-buy authors (Suzanne Enoch, Caroline Linden and Julie Anne Long) have new books coming out in March or May.

5. Outlander returns. I've been waiting for months to see more of Jamie in his kilt (or, better yet, out of his kilt).

Are You Kidding, Moviefone?

So, yesterday I saw this Moviefone slideshow of the James Bond films rated, from worst to best. I found myself talking back to my computer screen with nearly every click.

First of all, the 1967 Casino Royale farce should not even be counted as a James Bond movie. It has no business being included in the list.

How in the world can they rank License to Kill higher than The Living Daylights?  I know that Timothy Dalton gets no love from a lot of critics and fans, but of his two movies, the first is clearly superior, unless you also like Roger Moore's campy movies more than Sean Connery's serious ones.

There are several more Bond films that are worse than Quantum of Solace. Granted, it was a weak outing for Daniel Craig, but it's not nearly as bad as several others that Moviefone ranks higher.

Octopussy is a terrible movie. There are no metrics by which it is better than For Your Eyes Only. Live and Let Die is also a terrible movie. I loved it as a child, but as an adult, I find it cringeworthy. The only good thing about it is Paul McCartney's title track.

OK, so how would I rank the James Bond movies?  Here is my list, from best to worst.

1. Casino Royale (the real one, with Daniel Craig)
2. From Russia with Love (exotic locales and Rosa Klebb)
3. Skyfall (a beautiful homage to 50 years of Bond films)
4. Goldfinger ("No, Mr. Bond; I expect you to die.")
5. Dr. No (the movie that started it all)
6. The Living Daylights (Bond helps the Mujahedeen - what could possibly go wrong?)
7. GoldenEye (Pierce Brosnan always seemed too delicate to be Bond, but this is his best)
8. You Only Live Twice (two words: volcano lair)
9. The Spy Who Loved Me (a Bond girl with agency, and Jaws)
10. The World Is Not Enough (Sophie Marceau is terrific as the femme fatale)
11. Thunderball (two words: jet pack)
12. Quantum of Solace (not terribly memorable, but relatively inoffensive)
13. For Your Eyes Only (Roger Moore is looking old, but this one is less campy than others)
14. The Man with the Golden Gun (campy but fun)
15. Tomorrow Never Dies (a tame outing with a dull villain)
16. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (terribly silly in so many ways)
17. Never Say Never Again (I think Connery did this as an apology for Diamonds Are Forever)
18. License to Kill (Wayne Newton is over the top as a secondary villain)
19. Die Another Day (tries to be an homage to 40 years of Bond films; comes off as a satire)
20. Diamonds Are Forever (Bond helps South Africa's apartheid regime and the De Beers monopoly)
21. Octopussy (props to Maud Adams for playing a second Bond girl later in her career)
22. Live and Let Die (white Brits should not try to make Blaxploitation films)
23. Moonraker (so ridiculous, not even Jaws could save it)
24. A View to a Kill (I prefer the Duran Duran video to the movie -- "Bon. Simon Le Bon.")

I'm Ready for My Close-Up, Mr. Trebek

Several months ago, I joked on this blog: "If only Jeopardy! had a Classic Romance Novels category (I'm still waiting for my opportunity to tell Alex Trebek about the time I crashed an actual debutante ball)."

Monday's game this week included a new category, "Harlequin Romance Novel Titles 2014". Last week, there was a clue about Nora Roberts in the "Female Authors" category.

In the past year, there have been at least a few contestants who admitted to writing romance novels. One of them won $37,400 during his three-day run.

Now I regret not mentioning being an aspiring romance author when I auditioned for Jeopardy! last year, because there seems to be some pent-up demand. Oh well, I can always try again next year. After all, Arthur Chu didn't get a call after his first audition.

Sullivan's Travels: a Film that Every American Should See

I've been thinking a lot lately about Preston Sturges' classic 1942 film Sullivan's Travels. It has often been called the best movie about movies ever made. It takes sharp aim at privileged Hollywood liberals who try to raise awareness of social issues that they do not understand at all. Director Sturges also wrote the screenplay about a successful Hollywood director of light comedies who wishes to make an important movie about the plight of the downtrodden. Sullivan's project was to be called O Brother, Where Art Thou? (a title used decades later by the Cohen brothers for their homage to Sturges' film). Sullivan's studio tries to discourage him at first and then makes a publicity stunt of his attempt to do research by impersonating a hobo (brilliantly anticipating any number of modern "reality television" shows).

 While the movie was marketed as a romantic comedy, the comedy is definitely of the dark variety, and the romance does not take center stage. It does, however, play an important part in the story. Sullivan only begins to understand the real problems of poor people who cannot go back to their comfortable mansions when he meets Veronica Lake's character in this diner scene:



Their acquaintance grows, but they are separated when a series of misadventures leads to Sullivan losing his true identity, running afoul of the law, and being sent to prison.

The depiction of life on a prison chain gang is realistically bleak, so much so that the movie was banned from overseas distribution during wartime (for fear that it could be used as anti-American propaganda). Highly unusual for its time, it portrays incarcerated men in a sympathetic light and shows the very different versions of justice that exist for the rich and the poor.

In the end, Sullivan concludes that escapist entertainment is more valuable to the poor than serious films about their plight. Critics of the film point to that rather self-serving conclusion as the hypocritical moral of the story (when it was released, the NYT complained that "Sullivan should have been more affected by his experience than he seems to be"). I think they have rather missed the point. I believe the real moral of this film is that most of us spend our lives blithely unaware of our own privilege.

I think Sullivan's Travels should be annual viewing around the Thanksgiving holiday -- both to help us better appreciate what we have, and to help us feel genuine compassion for the downtrodden. I also think it should be required viewing for those in the publishing industry who make elitist distinctions between "literary fiction" and genre fiction. Just because a novel is structured to entertain and deliver a happily-ever-after does not mean it cannot make us think about larger issues. The value of entertainment and the HEA should also be weighed in the balance when considering the merits of a work.

How Courtney Milan Is Like Star Trek

I recently read Unclaimed by Courtney Milan. It is the second book in her Turner series (I had already read the first one, Unveiled).

I know that Ms. Milan does a fair amount of research for her books, but I have also noticed that she feels free to depart from that research. She also seems less familiar with the language of the era than authors who have read a lot of Victorian literature. There were a few casual malapropisms.

She is such a skilled storyteller, though, that I am able to overlook those lapses rather than being pulled from the story. I finally realized why I can stay immersed despite the anachronisms. Unclaimed is not really a story about Victorian England. It is a story about our own contemporary society told through the lens of a different era. It has a very strong message about slut-shaming and victim-blaming, and a more subtle message about the thinly-veiled misogyny in evangelical purity movements.

Why, then, does Courtney Milan not write contemporary romances instead? It is likely that many romance readers would be put off by strong social commentary about real life. That is not what most readers expect to encounter in a romance novel. However, by setting the story in Victorian England, Milan allows the reader to maintain a comfortable distance (and temper our outrage over some of the secondary characters' actions and attitudes, since those were different times) while still empathizing with the main characters and appreciating the book's philosophical lessons.

In much the same way, the writers of the original Star Trek series presented scripts about timely social issues like race relations and the rise of the military-industrial complex without incurring the wrath of the network, because it was science fiction set in the future rather than contemporary drama.

Well done, Courtney Milan.

If New Wave Songs Were Romance Novels

While driving home from the WisRWA Conference (which was fabulous; more on that later this week), I had my Sirius radio on 1st Wave, which seemed appropriate on a weekend when we celebrated the 30th anniversary of WisRWA.

About halfway home, they played one of my favorite guilty pleasures, Animotion's Obsession, which also seemed amazingly appropriate for a weekend focusing on romance novels. The official video even brings to mind old-school historical romances, with exotic settings, fantastic costumes and cheesy covers.

For the rest of the drive home, I made a game of thinking about what kind of romance novel each song I heard would be. Some of them did not quite work, but most lent themselves rather well to one particular genre or another:

• Iggy Pop's Lust for Life would be a M/M erotic romance, complete with threesomes and BDSM.
• The Cars' You're All I've Got Tonight would be a contemporary second-chance romance.
• Alphaville's Forever Young would be a either a new adult or a paranormal romance (or a NAPR).
• The Cure's Hot Hot Hot makes me think of urban fantasy for some reason.
• The Human League's Fascination would be a new adult erotic romance.

I'm going to have trouble listening to 80s music now without playing this game in my head.